The Basic Bitch Guide to Fall

The first leaf has fallen, and basic bitches everywhere are rejoicing with seasonal scarves and Pumpkin Spice Lattes. I'm not here to hate, in fact, I'm pretty F'ING PUMPED and am writing this in uggs as we speak (its 76 degrees outside- pls help). 

On behalf of basics everywhere, let's celebrate the reasons that make this season so goddamn special. 

1. Obviously, we need to discuss the PSL. Pumpkin Spice lattes are like crack cocaine, except more shameful to be caught with. When ordering one, I can't even make eye contact with my barista. You know, that I know, that you know, I'm a walking cliche. But guess what Geoffrey? IDGAF

 

2. Football Season. I don't know what the "line of scrimmage" means, but I do know there are lines of hot dudes at every sports bar during this magical time. It's like shooting fish in a barrel. Can a girl get a personal foul? 

 

3. Fall Scented Candles. This isn't even me trying to be funny, but I recently walked into a TJ Maxx and blacked out for what I believe was 45 minutes to an hour, just sniffing every. single. fall scented candle until finding the perfect one. I imagine sniffing a pumpkin spice candle WHILE drinking a pumpkin spice latte is what a double orgasm feels like.  

4. First dark manicure of the season. Finally, I can express the true color of my soul.  

 5. Halloween. In girl world, Halloween is the one night a year when a girl can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.

 7. Cuffing. Cuffing season is the natural phenomenon when you find a male counterpart, skip the BS, and fall into full relationship mode for the cold months to come. Think cuddling for body warmth, Netflix marathons, and XL sweatshirts. So. much. yes. 

8. Comfortable footwear. Trading in those strappy heels for the boots with the Furrr (with the furrr). Wow, life is so much better when you can actually feel your toes. 

 

9. Carb season is BACK. Tell your #Summerbod to kindly GTFO. This is a time for carbonara and Ramen. Putting on a few extra lbs is necessary for body warmth (science) AND no one will know the difference through those super cute knit sweaters. Bring on the pasta. 

10. Instagram Gold. I mean.... enjoying the great outdoors. Pumpkin patches, apple picking - get ready to break the internet. 

  

SM

 

 


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