As many of you know, I'm planning a wedding. I don't know how this happened either, but here we are.
I'm not one of those chicks who has had a "vision" for her wedding her entire life. In fact, I wasn't sure I would ever even get married. But I met this dude blacked out one night, and now long story short, I'm a bride. While I've never really pictured myself getting married, I HAVE seen a ton of romantic comedies and assumed I knew the gist of what I was getting into. There would be cake tasting, champagne, a sassy wedding planner, more champagne, and a makeover montage. I mean. I could fuck with that. The reality though? Wedding planning is NOT what it looks like in the movies and TBH:
Below, I'm going to breakdown WHY Wedding Planning is actually a dumpster fire and furthermore, why I decided to do this Wedding Blog series:
1. Kiss your money goodbye
Everyone can guess that the cost of throwing a wedding is the worst part. But in reality it so so so much worse then I expected. I knew a wedding was going to be expensive, but I didn't realize how absurd every single cost would be. The first wedding planner I spoke to quoted me $20,000 for tables and chairs. TWENTY THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR TABLES AND CHAIRS.
*This is what planning a wedding really looks like*
2. Get Ready for the Drama
The first thing you realize when you start budgeting your wedding and seeing what it costs PER PERSON, is that you simply can't invite everyone you and your family would like to. Cutting down on fringe friends, extended family and +1's is going to piss people off, and in my experience so far, they will let you know. ALSO, you never realize all the crazy family and friend dynamics going into wedding planning. This person isn't speaking to this person? Your Aunt doesn't want your Uncle to bring his new wife? Oh and we haven't even gotten to who you will inevitably leave out of your bridal/ bachelorette party. Basically, get ready for a nice steaming load of drama you never asked for.
3. Overwhelmed with logistics
Some people thrive in the details. Others *cough* get overwhelmed when deciding what to order for brunch. If you are the latter (like me) wedding planning is going to be a special kind of hell. There are about a zillion options to choose from between tables (square? long? circular? a mix?) chairs, linens, glassware, fabrics, lighting, florals, silverware, etc etc etc. And those are the "fun" decisions. Then you have things like vendors, drop off and pick up times, cleaning, wait staff, room layouts, staging, transportation, bathroom supplies, parking and just a bunch of other things that all depend on each other. (Ex: if you are getting plates from your venue, will your caterer clean them?) All these logistics and vendors become this giant puzzle that can make your brain hurt and break you mentally and physically.
4. Appearance Pressure
As a bride, your wedding day is like your Super Bowl. It's your time to shine. "Your Day". The day that everyone will be looking at you and taking the pictures you will be reposting on IG for the rest of your natural life. For me, the pressure to look a certain way has never felt higher. So on top of allllll the planning stress, lets also sprinkle in some insecurities shall we? I've already caught myself being SUPER nit-picky about my appearance (should I get that tooth fixed? botox? How TF do I get rid of this FUPA?) and SURPRISE picking yourself apart doesn't feel awesome.
5. Oh and Ps, this is the most important decision of your life (que the existential crisis)
This is a fun one to try to explain, but getting married for me comes with some very complicated emotions. In a lot of ways, it feels like the end of life as I've known it. I've always been an independent person. I enjoy the endless possibilities of being able to wake up and choose who I want to be every day. Getting married comes with the responsibility of being a good partner and coming to terms with the fact that it's not just about "me" anymore. Then there is the concept of "FOREVER". I thought I would love Brian from the Backstreet Boys forever. I thought I would love a lot of things forever and have always continued to grow and change as a person. Can anything be forever? Is the whole social construct of Marriage even natural? Are we humans or spiritual beings trapped in skin suits? These are the existential thoughts that creep into my brain between deciding between cream or eggshell napkin holders.
So yeah. Wedding Planning is not exactly the carefree romantic comedy I thought it would be. BUT I take comfort in knowing so many of YOU are going through or have been through the same things and that I am so not alone in this. I have been posting more and more wedding stuff on social media and have already learned so many tips and tricks from YOU. I am slowly fumbling my way through this process and will be doing a series of blog posts to share my findings in case it helps ANYONE else. So stay tuned, stay strong, and in times of trouble please repeat after me: The Honeymoon is coming.